


Out of the Ruins and Rubble

by annie_areyouokay



Series: Life Goes On (A Han/Leia Story) [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Princess Leia (Comics)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, Minor Original Character(s), Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-20 16:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30007374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annie_areyouokay/pseuds/annie_areyouokay
Summary: Part One of Life Goes On (A Han/Leia Story)Leia is captured by the Empire. Luckily, Captain Han Solo is able to save her (not that she was particularly appreciative of it.)
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo
Series: Life Goes On (A Han/Leia Story) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2207385
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. In Which She Loses Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia's entire world unravels.

_**LEIA** _

Leia tried to muffle her screams by balling the collar of her Senatorial robes and stuffing it in her mouth. The robes were marked with grime and were discarded on the floor, ripped off by a stormtrooper. She could hear her skin sizzling behind her, and the red-hot heat of pain flashed through her in throbs cascading over a steadily excruciating pain. She felt the edge of the lightsaber lift again, and the skin it was being held over began to smart.

  
The stormtroopers holding her arms let go, and she fell to her knees. She felt sobs threaten to choke her as she collapsed onto the concrete slab that was her ‘bed’, her arms sprawling over it, her lower half on the floor, shaking. Leia forced herself to look up indignantly at Darth Vader, covering her chest with the robes. They had left her underskirt on, but stripped everything on her upper half, including her bra. She tried to retain some form of dignity as he extinguished the plasma blade.

  
“So, Your Highness. Are you ready to divulge the location of the rebel base?” For a moment, she really considered it. The constant pain on her back was a reminder of the tortuous hours that could follow. But that would be an insult to her legacy, to throw everything away. Besides, she had enough false and outdated information stored in her head to keep the Empire on a wild goose chase for lightyears. She couldn’t crumble now: it would appear too early. She would wait a little bit, and then slowly feed them more and more lies until they let her go… or killed her. Don’t think like that.

  
She spit at his feet, pride warming her cheeks when he stepped back. “Over my dead body.”

  
“That can be arranged,” he said chillingly. He turned, his cape brushing Leia’s feet. She recoiled them as if the fabric itself were made of fire. “I’ll be returning soon, Princess.” The stormtroopers followed him out of the cell, and just like that, the hours of torture had come to a silent halt. Leia let out the agonized wail that had been caught in the back of her throat, refusing to touch her back. From what she had read about lightsaber wounds, they were actually easy to manage, albeit painful. It would scar, but as long as she kept it clean for a few days, the heat of the lightsaber would cauterize her wound and she would be able to survive.

  
Then again, she needn’t worry about surviving. They would never let her off the Death Star alive, and the Rebel Alliance had no hope of rescuing her. She wouldn’t expect them to. It would risk many more lives than she was worth to rescue her now, and they would probably execute her before they even had the chance to assemble a crew. Leia painstakingly stood up to sit on the slab, pulling her dress back on.

  
She hissed as the fabric brushed against her wound. It still throbbed and ached with searing pain, but she grit her teeth and forced it on. The only thing more humiliating than being tortured was the gazes of the admirals observing flickering to her chest as she was being brutalized. She refused to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her weak or exposed. In Alderaan, modesty was a valued trait in a young woman. Leia felt the cold metal chain of her necklace against her throat, and moved it so it would rest on the dress instead. She was already chilled to the bone from being in thin robes made for Alderaniaan climates. The necklace had been a gift from her family and she was temporarily comforted when a seemingly sympathetic commander had allowed her to keep it. She even suggested Leia have a good day. What a philanthropist.

  
It felt like several hours before Vader returned, with troops in tow. Then again, she wasn’t sure of the passage of time. She could have been staring at the sterile grey walls for only a few minutes and gone out of her mind. She stared back at the Sith, hoping he wasn’t bringing a new and inventive torture device with him. Instead, he instructed her to stand and follow him. Ah, so the stormtroopers were to ensure she wouldn’t try to make a run for it. Where would she go? Down the hallway, to face more stormtroopers? She entered what she surmised was command central for the Death Star. It was an impressive set up, and she noticed the engineers and admirals working trying their best not to stare at the guests and keep their eyes on their screens. Vader paused in front of a deathly looking man who appeared as if his entire soul had been sucked out of him long ago.

  
“Governor Tarkin,” she greeted. “I should have expected you to be holding Vader’s leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.”

  
“Charming to the last,” he gave her a sickly sweet smile. He placed a single finger on her chin, and she felt her stomach churn with disgust. “You don’t know how hard I found it signing the orders to terminate your life!” She assumed this was supposed to come as some kind of shock to her, but she mostly felt relieved. Finally, she knew there was an end coming.

  
“I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.” The governor had a nasty habit of outsourcing the dirty work to people whose careers he could end with a snap of his fingers if he so chose. But maybe this one was too personal to slap on someone else’s desk. Tarkin’s hand slid down her arm, settling on her elbow to lead her towards the window. She felt jolts of pain shoot through her back as she walked.

  
“Princess Leia, before your execution, I would like for you to be my guest at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational.” Leia swallowed the urge to snort. He had no idea the impact his choices had on the general public, and how much dissent there was brewing against the Empire. “No star system would dare oppose the Empire now.”  
“The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers,” she hissed, pulling her arm away as they approached the window. She kept her eyes locked on him, furious.

  
“Not after we demonstrate the power of this battle station.” He slipped his arm around Leia as if they were old college chums and turned her to face the window. All she could see was a field of stars, and the edge of a planet in the corner of the window. “In a way, you have helped select the planet we will test this out with. Since you were so reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base,” he added as the station continued to turn. Her stomach began to drop as she recognized the shapes of the islands and continents, to remember the specific shade of blue in the oceans she loved so much as the planet came into view. “We will be testing it out on your home planet of Aldeeran.” _Aldeeran. No._

  
“No!” Leia gasped, grabbing his arm, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Aldeeran is a peaceful planet, you couldn’t possibly-”

  
“Is there another target you’d suggest?” His eyes were cold and calculating as he slowly walked towards her. She backed up, refusing to be so close to such a disgusting man. “A military target, perhaps? Then name. The. System.” She backed into Vader and choked down a cry of pain as her wound brushed the hard armor he wore. She racked her brain for a believable answer. Perhaps even somewhere the Empire already suspected they might be hiding. Then she remembered a planet her father told her they’d abandoned almost a decade ago.

  
“Dantooine,” she said breathlessly as she tried to swallow her pain. “They’re on Dantooine.” She looked down at the floor, willing him to believe her lie.

  
“See, Lord Vader? She can be reasoned with.” She wanted to punch that smug little smirk off his face. “You can fire when ready, Admiral.” She looked up, shocked to see they were still facing Aldeeran.

  
“What?” Leia exclaimed, her blood running cold.

  
“You’re far too trusting,” Tarkin said with a small smile. “Dantooine is far too remote to make an effective demonstration. But don’t worry. We’ll deal with your Rebel friends soon.” Leia ignored what he was saying and tried to run to stop the commanders from firing, but Vader’s hand pulled her into his chest. She did notice he was being careful with her wound. Perhaps he thought she had suffered enough. What a gentleman. She felt her breathing quicken and her pulse race as they fired the blaster. In a blazing flash of flames and flying rock, her home planet exploded and reduced to asteroids and dust. In one small push of a button, all of her friends and family were dead. Mom and Dad. What had they been doing? Did they know it was coming? Was it painful, like her lightsaber torture had been, or was it quick and painless? She felt tears she didn’t even know were forming fall down her cheek. There was no heat or emotion behind them, but they fell rapidly and heavily. The entire command center was silent, as though they too knew how life changing of a moment she’d just witnessed. She realized she should probably say something. She felt the beginnings of grief and anguish rise in her heart, but it wasn’t big enough yet to compete with the hollow emptiness she felt.  
“I don’t believe God made any mistakes in his work,” she whispered. She turned to Tarkin, spitting her words. “But if he did, I’d believe you to be his only one.” His triumphant expression turned sour and he whipped his head to look at Lord Vader.

  
“Take her to her cell!” He spat. Leia turned and marched towards the detention center without prompt, knowing that before her death she had gotten the last laugh.


	2. In Which He Saves Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han and Luke rescue Leia- but there are still consequences from her capture that need to be tended to.

_**HAN** _

Han was fucked. Royally fucked. Literally, actually, since it was a stupid princess that got him in this situation in the first place. God, why did he ever listen to that starry-eyed kid with his dreams of being a knight in shining armor for some beautiful rebel princess? Guys like that didn’t make it out alive. He sure wasn’t counting on it now. But maybe he could give the Empire one last ‘fuck you’ before they executed him for insurrection.

“Luke, we’re gonna have company!” He hollered down the detention block hallway. Luke was trying to find the cell that the princess was in while Han attempted to barricade the elevator to keep stormtroopers from reaching them. Then again, this was their only way out… but he’d have to cross that bridge when he came to it. For now, he used the command center to lock the elevator from the outside. It wasn’t long before they shot down the door and began to spill through the elevators like ants fleeing a mound. Han tried to shoot as many as possible while backing up into the hallway to meet up with Luke. Chewie rounded around him, hollering.  _ “Do you have any kind of plan?” _

“Mind your business, fuzz-ball,” Han retorted. He felt himself bump into Luke, who was supporting the princess in his arms. He glanced over to see who their new tagalong was. She was short, surprisingly so, and looked young. She was clearly in pain, the way she was leaning on Luke. But this didn’t stop her from looking furiously at Han as if he was wrong for having the audacity to come to her rescue.

“There isn’t any other way out,” Luke reminded them breathlessly, aiming at random into the throng of stormtroopers shooting their way.

“We can’t hold them off forever! Now what?” Han yelled. Chewie groaned next to him.

“This is some escape plan,” the princess said, rolling her eyes as if she were an expert at Imperial kidnapping rescue plans. “When you made it in here, you didn’t have a plan for getting back out?” Han looked furiously at her. How could she be picking a fight when they were already waging one?

“He’s the brains, sweetheart.” He said, pointing at Luke. She looked like she really didn’t like being called sweetheart. He’d make sure to use that word as often as possible. He fired more shots into the throng of white, dodging some of the shots they sent back. He heard a shot hit right next to him, and yelped as he realized it had come from the princess.

“What the hell are you doing?” He yelled angrily.

“Somebody has to save our skins,” she explained. He looked down to realize she had shot some sort of vent open, creating a small opening they could escape through. She handed Luke back the blaster she must have stolen from his arms and patted his shoulder. “Into the garbage chute, flyboy!” And with that, she disappeared into the hole in a flash of white. Chewbacca roared his displeasure at the prospect of following her into the foul smelling vent.

“Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don’t care what you smell!” Han knocked him into the hole. “Wonderful girl,” he added to Luke as they continued to trade shots with the rapidly approaching stormtroopers. “Either I’m gonna kill her, or I’m beginning to like her. Get in there!” Luke dove into the hole with little fanfare, and after knocking down enough stormtroopers to offer him a safe escape, Han followed him and landed into the squishy garbage.

It smelled… God, it smelled like a Hutt’s sewage. Luke was still trying to prop himself up from the mysterious cold water on the floor and onto one of the larger pieces of garbage. Chewie was fishing bits of food out of his fur next to the princess, whose dress was clinging to her with the sewage water they had fallen into.

“Oh! The garbage chute!” He murmured angrily as he reached for his blaster. “What a wonderful idea. And what an incredible smell you’ve discovered!” The princess shot him a dirty look as she removed slime from one of the twin buns her hair was twisted into. “Let’s get out of here.” Han removed his blaster and took a shot at the door. The laserbolt began to ricochet around the room, and they all ducked to avoid the fire. It eventually buried itself into one of the trash heaps. Han let out a sigh of relief.

“Put that thing away! You’re going to get us all killed,” the princess hissed to him. He couldn’t stand the thought of this tiny girl getting away with bossing him around.

“Absolutely, Your Worship,” he said, putting his blaster away. “Look, I had everything under control until you led us down here. It isn’t going to take them long to figure out what happened to us.”

“It could be worse,” she said in a whisper. He realized then just how hoarse her voice was, and that the back of her dress was stained black and red from grime and blood. She must have been some kind of wealth of information that the Empire wanted, and tortured for it. He swallowed his pity and promised he would start taking it easier on her. Han wondered momentarily if she ever gave in.  _ Girl like that? Not a chance. _

Luke gasped as some slithering creature wrapped around his ankle, pulling him under the water. The three other escapees started yelling in panic, trudging to where Luke disappeared. Han unsheathed his blaster, but didn’t want to fire into the murky water and hit Luke on accident. The last thing they needed was another injured crew member. For a few moments, the water was still, then Luke emerged with the tentacle still wrapped around his neck.

The princess was trying to hand him a lead pipe to hold onto to keep him above water while Han aimed for the tentacle on the creature. With a single shot, there was a squeal from below the water and it released the boy. Luke gasped for air, his hand wrapped around his throat in pain. Chewie and the princess worried over him for a moment before the walls began to creak and groan.

“That can’t be good,” Han muttered. The walls began to close in on them, slowly pushing the garbage towards the middle. The group acted quickly, the princess trying to brace the walls with a long pole which snapped quickly, and Luke and Chewie trying to open the door. 

“Threepio! Threepio! God, where could he be?” Luke yelled into the communicator. Nothing but static returned. Han tried to grab the princess’ hips, realizing quickly their only hope was to try to reach the top of the garbage piles and escape through one of the grates on the roof. It didn’t look like they’d be able to, but he was quickly running out of options. She recoiled, looking at him like he was out of his mind.

“We need to get to the top,” he explained, grabbing her waist this time and pushing her onto one of the garbage piles. She groaned in pain as her back hit the wall, and he looked up at her in understanding. Something had happened to her back. Probably an interrogation droid… only that didn’t make sense, because it was supposed to target the weakest part of the body. Why go for the back? In any case, he didn’t need to worry about it now. He pulled himself up next to her. 

The walls squeezed in closer, and he had a sudden realization that there was no way they could escape. He looked over at the princess, and it seemed she had come to the same conclusion, because she was looking at him with defeated eyes. He took a finger and wiped off a piece of wet paper that had stuck itself to her forehead. She flinched at his touch.

“We’re not making it out, are we?” She sighed.

“No,” he said grimly. The wall hit his legs, and he realized the end was near.

“Leia,” she said suddenly. “My name is Leia Organa.”

“Han Solo,” he said in return, although it felt bizarre to be introducing themselves just as they were about to die. As the garbage beneath them fell away and they were now almost completely crushed by the wall, he felt her fingers tightly squeeze his. Her hand was tiny, and felt like it was lost in his. He squeezed back, closing his eyes, hoping this wouldn’t be as painful as he suspected it might be.  But then the walls came to a screeching halt. They all opened their eyes, looking around in bewilderment at each other. Then Leia laughed, hugging him in disbelief. He heard Luke asking Threepio to open the door to the garbage disposal, which eventually slid open after a creaky start. The four of them rushed to the door, Luke, Chewie and Han drawing their weapons to prepare for any guards who might be manning the door.

Fortunately, they made it back to the Falcon without a hitch. Well, if without a hitch includes nearly getting their heads shot off by stormtroopers, narrowly avoiding recapture and old Kenobi being killed by Darth Vader. As Han shot off into the galaxy, he felt his heart pang with hurt for the kid. It must be hard on him. Come to think of it, he wasn’t sure if Kenobi was his relative or just a family friend, but from the way Luke and Leia were sitting so close, he must have been.  They decided to take turns showering in the ‘fresher, and Leia suggested Luke go first, to have some time alone. Han sent Chewie to go check the motivator to ensure they would leave lightspeed safely, leaving him and the princess alone in the cockpit. She had her eyes half-closed, a small smile on her face, as if she couldn’t believe she were sitting there. He admired her for a second, the curve of her nose and the dark brown color of her hair.

“Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh?” Han said proudly. “You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.”

“That doesn’t sound too hard,” she shot back. “They let us go. That’s the only explanation for the ease of our escape.”

“You call that easy?” What kind of rescue missions was she going on?

“They’re tracking us!”

“Not this ship, sister,” he insisted. The Falcon was way too smart, she would realize there was a bug on her.

“At least the information on Artoo is still intact.” Han shot a look at the problematic droid beeping next to Threepio. Artoo didn’t get on his nerves quite like Threepio did, but he still wouldn’t trust him with any important information. Besides, how bad could it be?

“What’s so important? What’s he carrying?”

“The technical readouts of that battle station.” Holy shit. No wonder the Empire had her captured. They must have been trying to track down the droid and destroy those plans before they would destroy them. “I only hope that when the data is analyzed, a weakness can be found. It’s not over yet.” She gave him a friendly glance, as though they were a team working against a common enemy. His heart pounded for a moment, and then froze. He had a debt to pay to Jabba! He couldn’t get mixed up with this.

“It is for me,” he said quickly. “I ain’t in this for your revolution, and I’m certainly not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid for my time.” Leia looked stunned, and almost hurt. She stood up furiously as the door slid open. Luke entered, his hair still damp from the shower. He was looking a little more like his usual self, upbeat and smiling. His smile waned when he took in the scene.

“If money is all you love, then that’s what you’ll receive.” She turned to Luke. “Your friend here is quite a mercenary. It’s a wonder he cares about anything.” She shot him another look, disappointment flickering amongst the anger. “Or anyone.” She closed the door behind her. Luke replaced her spot awkwardly, running his fingers through his hair.

“So, what do you think of her?” Luke asked quietly. Han looked over at him under hooded eyes, smiling at the kid’s eagerness. Truth be told, he was thinking about her more than he cared to admit. There was nothing wrong with a one night stand, but he knew these kinds of girls were never up for it. They always wanted more. And maybe _ he _ wanted more than a one night stand. He shook it off. 

“I’m trying not to, kid.”

“Good,” Luke murmured. Han felt a need to defend himself.

“I mean, what do you think? You think a princess, and a guy like me…”

“No,” Luke said quickly. He looked away, and Han chuckled at his jealousy. Oh, well. Him and Leia would be good together. He tried to ignore his own jealousy and focus on Chewie’s quiet words from outside the cockpit.

_ “The princess wants some assistance.” _

“With?” Han asked.

_ “I’m not sure, but she asked for you.” _

“Me? I’m not sure she wants to see me, pal. Why don’t you go help Her Worshipfulness.”

_ “She wants you, Cub.”  _ Han sighed, unable to deal with a bratty attitude. Still, he stood up and exited the cockpit, telling Chewie to man the Falcon while he was gone. He ventured to the cabin, where the fresher was located, and saw Leia collapsed on one of the beds in a cold sweat. He rushed to her side.

“Holy hell, what happened to you?”

“It’s… dammit, I need to get this dress off,” she huffed. This took him by surprise.

“And you want me to do this?” 

“Han, I’m serious, please don’t make it into a weird sex thing.” The desperate look in her eyes led him to slowly unzip the back of her dress, gasping as he saw what lay underneath. Three long lightsaber burns, blistered and infected, went down the length of her back. He couldn’t believe she had held up this long.  
  


“Wow,” he breathed.

“How bad is it?” She whispered.

“You’ll be fine,” he said gruffly, trying not to let worry seep into his voice. He fished around in his drawers for a second before he found some bacta gel, bandages and medical tape. He supposed he should clean it out first, so he wet a rag and returned. She had shimmied the dress off to her waist, and was holding the top over her chest, exposing her long back. He looked away quickly and settled back down behind her.

“Ow!” She cursed as he put the rag to her wounds.

“I have to clean it out, Princess. In case you forgot, someone had the grand idea to turn a garbage chute into a slip-n-slide.”

“All part of my master plan,” she teased as she inhaled sharply in pain. He tried to rack his brain to figure out how long the torture had lasted. The more he thought about it the angrier he got, so he tried to put it from his mind.

“Where are you the princess of?” He asked, trying to change the subject as he began spreading the bacta gel on her burns.

“Alderaan,” she answered simply. Oh.  _ Oh.  _ No wonder she was in such a foul mood. “Sorry I had to call you over. I thought Luke might get sick if he saw.” 

“Yeah, he doesn’t look like he has the stomach for these kinds of things,” Han laughed.  
  


“Where are you from?” She returned. Han paused. No. They couldn’t get to know each other. He couldn’t get attached to this annoying, headstrong, beautiful, enchanting princess.

“Not important.”

“Corellia, right?” She guessed correctly. “You have the stripe on your pants.”

“What are you, some kind of fashion historian?”

“No, it’s just a lot of the Alliance pilots I’ve worked with are from Corellia. They all favor those kinds of pants.” She looked over her shoulder, and he tried to avoid her dark brown gaze.

“Well, there you go. Corellia.”

“When will we be landing on Braispa?” Leia asked. Han paused, confused.

“What do you mean, Braispa?”

“We’ll have to dump this ship. It’s surely being tracked, and besides, why should I trust you with the location of the rebel base?”

“Sweetheart, if I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have bothered rescuing you,” he sneered. “And there’s no way you’re going to make it much longer without some actual medical attention. You told me the system, now I need the planet. Where are we headed?”

“Yavin 4.” Leia sounded defeated.

“Yavin 4, huh?” Han was impressed. That’s a damn good location for a base. Unassuming, but in a good location. He knew it because a friend of his had crash landed in Yavin 4 and they met up to get the hell out of dodge.

“It’s not like it’ll be a secret too much longer. It’ll be a race to see who can destroy who first as soon as we land. Ow!” She yelped as he hit a tender spot. He had been distracted looking at the gentle curve of her hip, the way it sloped to reach her breasts-  _ stop that. _

“Sorry.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you knew the word ‘sorry’.” She teased him softly.

“I don’t take pleasure in hurting you, princess.”

“Not such a mystery after all, are you?” Is that what she saw him as? A mystery? It rubbed him the wrong way that she was trying to figure him out like he was a little project for her to work on. They had no business exchanging pleasantries.   
  


“You don’t know anything about me,” he said a little more sharply than he had meant to. “Listen, we don’t need to get to know each other. I’m taking you to Yavin, taking my commission, then I’m gone. Got it?”

“Got it.” Her voice had hardened as well, their lighthearted banter coming to a screeching halt. He actually felt kinda bad snapping at her like that- really, in only a few days she lost her home, her family and had enough physical and emotional trauma to last her a lifetime. But he had to keep those walls up nice and high, so high she’d never be able to climb her skinny ass up and over them. He finished bandaging her and stood up.

“I’ll be in the cockpit if you need anything.” She didn’t respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment saying what you think of the work so far! Thanks for reading!


	3. In Which They Destroy The Death Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han and Leia work together to destroy the Death Star- but after all is said and done, what's left?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer chapter that splits POV's, but I put a header before each switch saying who's POV we're reading from. Enjoy!

_**LEIA** _

The comlink had almost burst with the excited chatter of the many pilots who had switched to the Falcon’s frequency to welcome Leia back to the Alliance. She sat down in the back, a little embarrassed by all of the praise. People went missing all the time in war: especially when you’re on the losing side which, without the help of Artoo, she currently was. Hopefully that would be changing soon.

“You’re popular,” Han muttered, beginning his descent towards Yavin.

“I’m a rebel leader,” Leia said simply.

“Wow, this is so cool!” Luke exclaimed, standing up in his seat to get a better view at the sprawling landscape of trees, landing hangars and short buildings that made up the secret base. Han directed them near the emergency landing gear in the building that housed command central and the med center. “Is it all this big?”

“Never seen a city before?” Han looked at him, amused. _He has a nice sparkle in his eye._

“This ain’t a city, this is… well, it’s a rebellion!” Luke said, sitting back down, although it looked like he was about to float out of his seat with anticipation. She’d have to make sure he was made a pilot. Then again, if she did that, would she be damning the man who just rescued her to a swift and painful death? Was she condemning all of her troops to their demise? Her smile faded as Han landed and they walked out.

The first face she saw was, thankfully, that of General Rieekan. Rieekan was from Aldeeran, and was once a loyal and faithful member of the royal guard. As such, running into his arms and into a tight embrace felt much like she was hugging a member of her family, which she so sorely missed. She longed for that familiar, warm feeling of safety and comfort again. But she soon broke apart, aware people must be watching.

“Princess, it’s so good to see you,” he said warmly. “When we heard about Aldeeran, we feared the worst.”

“There’s no time for mourning,” Leia said firmly. “We must use the information in this R2 unit to destroy the Death Star. It’s our only hope.” She winced and bit back a cry of pain as the hand Rieekan placed on her back comfortingly dug into her burn. Rieekan recoiled, his face laden with confusion.

“She has three lightsaber burns on her back. Probably more wounds elsewhere.” Han said casually. “Hey. Captain Han Solo, Millenium Falcon.”

“Captain, we can’t thank you enough for your help in rescuing the princess,” Rieekan said, shaking his hand.

“This is Luke Skywalker,” Leia added, trying to divert the attention to someone who actually deserved and wanted it. “He was incredibly brave during the entire ordeal and I think, if he passes the necessary requirements, he would make an excellent addition to our fleet.”

“You mean it?” Luke grinned.

“We’ll test him right away,” Rieekan confirmed, signaling for one of the other commanders to lead Luke away. She watched as they retreated, Luke bouncing with excitement. How soon would the trials of war take that away from him? It already had taken so much. Maybe Luke was indestructible, and was cursed with endless positivity. On the opposite end, there was Han, who wrinkled his nose and strongly refused when Rieekan offered him a position in the Alliance.

“Are you kidding me? No way.”

“Please consider,” Rieekan said. “You’d be well paid for your time.”

“There’s nothing for me here. In any case, we need to get Her Worship to the medical center. We put some bacta on it, but those kinds of burns don’t go away with a bandage and some gel.”

“There’s no time,” Leia insisted. 

“You’re being ridiculous,” Han retorted.

“Your Highness, if it is as bad as Captain Solo says, the safest thing to do is get you to the medical center as soon as possible.” Reikkan placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, careful to avoid the bandages.

“Let me know if you have any trouble getting her there.” _What, does he think I’m incompetent?_

“Understood. If you’d like, you can stay for the briefing. We’re not allowing takeoff until the battle plans are finalized anyways.” This seemed to put Han out of his out-of-character protective mood, because he huffed and marched off. What a self-absorbed jerk.

“It is so great to see you again,” Rieekan said more personably now that they no longer had company. “Let’s get you to the med center.”

**_HAN_ **

Had she even spent more than a half hour in the med center? She had made it to the briefing and had even changed into a nicer outfit, her hair redone and makeup applied. Was it superficial and vain, or was it a defense mechanism? He found himself tuning out the important information being spoken by the general and focused on the white clad girl at the head table, her head bowed over her notepad, her hand flying across the page in diligent note-taking.

“So, do you think you’re gonna join the pilots? I think you should maybe stay behind and try to get that generator working.” He heard Luke say next to him. “They could really use some more power for the amount of communications they’re going to have to do.”

“What? I’m not sticking around, kid,” Han said harshly.

“What?”

“I’m going,” Han said, standing up to leave. 

“Are you going to say goodbye to the princess?” Luke asked him, his voice worried.

“Why should I?”

“Han, did this entire adventure mean nothing to you?” It meant something to him alright. This entire trip had completely flipped his world-view upside down. The Empire had gone from an annoying inconvenience to a villainous group of assholes who thought it was okay to torture innocent girls. He’d already known that- hell, he left the Academy because of it. But now it felt personal, like they were directly attacking him instead of in his general direction. But it didn’t mean he would stick around and fight for something better. He already had a death mark, he didn’t need another.

“No. It was always just a charter, Luke,” he said. Hurt flashed across Luke’s face.

“Whatever you say, Han. Fly safe.” Luke turned to catch up with some of his old pilot buddies. Han walked back to the hangar, his mind spinning. What if he did stay and help? Well, he would never get the chance to pay off his debt to Jabba. The slimy slug made it abundantly clear if he didn’t get that cash soon, he would never be able to set foot on any developed planet again. 

Then again, if he was working with the Alliance, he might not need to. _I could wait it out, until someone kills Jabba. It’s a matter of time._ Han walked at a slower pace now, observing the brisk walking of the pilots and technicians beside him, all working towards the common goal of bringing down the Empire. He swung into the hangar and pondered the possibility of actually staying on a planet for longer than a fortnight. What must it be like to not jump awake at the slightest noise? How must it feel to have a safe place to sleep at night?

“Captain?” He knew that small, yet assertive voice. He turned to see Princess Leia standing behind him.

“Your Worship.”

“You’re leaving.”

“See, I knew you had to be smart to be a princess, but they really must have blessed you with brains, sweetheart,” Han commented as he walked up to the Falcon.

“Charming as ever,” Leia said, rolling her eyes. “I think you should stay.”

“Do you?” Han humored her mockingly.

“What’s stopping you?” The halls went quiet as Han realized he didn’t really have any answer he could give her. Mentioning you have a death mark was extremely off putting, and the girl really didn’t need any more shocking news. She’d had enough bad news for the day.

“It’s like I told the General, princess. There’s nothing for me here.” His eyes locked onto the bacta bandages creeping up her shoulder. They were military grade. “As for you, did you actually get any medical attention, or did they give you a little patch up and send you on your way? Lightsaber burns are serious. You’re gonna need more than some bandages.”

“I’m completely aware of the seriousness of the situation.” Leia’s tone was sharp and biting, her brows furrowed. “But we’re about to head into battle. There’s no time for that, and there will be more serious injuries than mine.” More serious? If her wounds were any more serious she’d be dead.

“Fine. Let your wounds get infected and pass out in command central. Be my guest. But unless you have something to say, I’m taking off in five minutes.” They stood in silence again.

“Have a good life, Captain Solo. Thanks for saving me.” Somehow, she didn’t sound all that grateful. She turned around and stalked off of the ramp to the ship, her skirt swishing behind her. He leaned into the wall, exhaling as he realized he had been holding his breath. So much for being a hero. He straightened up and, after a brief check with Chewie, they took off into the galaxy, calculating their lightspeed so that they could pay back Jabba. 

Han sat with his hands on the controls, letting autopilot take over as they neared completion for the calculations to go to lightspeed. He tried not to let images of Luke’s ship being blown up into a million pieces or Leia being captured once again run through his mind, but they flew as freely as stars as he tried to push onward. He heard Chewie shift next to him, and he looked over at his companion.

_“You want to go back, don’t you, Cub?”_

“No,” Han bit back. “We have to pay back Jabba, or we’re screwed.”

_“It’s written all over your face. You can’t get that girl out of your head.”_ Leia? Sure, she was pretty, but girls like that didn’t get with guys like him. Besides, he had more than his fair share of romantic ventures in the past. He didn’t get hung up over girls after only knowing them for one day.

“Shut up, you furry oaf. Let’s go to lightspeed.” They plugged in the calculations, but Han’s hand hesitated over the lever to make the jump. He had this sickening feeling in his stomach, like they needed him to go back. _No, that’s stupid. What’s one more ship going to do for them?_ Still, he felt his hand slowly move to push the button to cancel the jump and they swiftly turned around to chase after the Death Star.

**_LEIA_ **

  
  


Leia’s back still pulsed and ached with pain, even with the bacta bandages that were tightly pressed upon her back a few hours before. She was trying her best not to move too much, not only because it was painful, but because Reeikan was hovering over her as if she was incapable of even sitting still without his supervision. She kept her eyes trained on the control center, where she was helping communicate with the pilots.

“Hold back, Gold Leader,” she ordered as the Gold Leader reported that his troops were depleting quickly. Was this entire mission just a death sentence for the pilots sent to the Death Star? Would any of them come back alive? Leia found herself biting her nails and stopped immediately. Mom always got onto her about biting her nails. _Mom._ The word hit her like a brick.

_“Your Majority is in just a few months,” her mother had said excitedly while signing a document to be sent to her advisors. “Do you know what you want to do to celebrate this year?”_

_“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening.” Leia had been staring out the window at the ways the trees swayed in the wind._

_“Leia, you need to be more attentive. I’m growing old. You’ll be queen soon.”_

_“Don’t say that, Mom,” Leia’s voice grew concerned. She walked to stand behind her mother, her arms wrapping around her mother’s shoulders in a tight embrace._

_“Speaking of queen, you’ll need a king. Or at least a prince.” Leia backed away, rolling her eyes as she recognized where the conversation was headed._

_“Nevermind, let’s focus on the party instead. Why don’t we just have a ball? The press and the people seem to like it enough.”_

_“Yes, but do you like it?” Her mother’s tone was worried. “Leia, you’ve grown up with a lot of pressure, and sometimes I feel you never really enjoy the things you’re supposed to. The lives of royalty are filled with stressors and complications, but there are things that we too can enjoy.”_

_“Enjoying something?” Leia laughed sarcastically. “Is that even in our vocabulary?”_

_“It should be,” her mother said soothingly._

_“I’ll think about it, Mom.”_

_“I love you, Leia,” she said, her head bowing to once again read her papers._

_“I love you too.”_

Leia’s breath all of a sudden was gone from her chest. Had she seriously been talking to her mother about a birthday party just a few days ago? She leaned into her chair and hissed as her burns brushed the cold metal, the pain shooting her back to reality. All of a sudden, the sounds of battle coming from the communicators and the loud noise of conversation around her was amplified, and she felt like her entire body was shaking.

“They’re gone,” she whispered.

“Gold? Yes, they’ve retreated.” Rieekan said.

“No. My parents. Aldeeran. They’re just… gone.” Rieekan sighed and knelt down next to her. She realized that a tear had fallen from her lashes and spilled onto her cheek. She brushed it away, cursing herself for showing weakness.

“I know. I miss them too. Your parents gave me everything I’ve ever wanted. I owe them my life,” Rieekan said quietly, his voice lost on the people around them as the spectators focused on the fight. “But they believed in this revolution. They would want you to be strong right now for them. And then, once we’ve won, you can rest and mourn for them. But right now, we need to be strong.” Leia nodded quickly in agreement.

“His computer is off,” someone murmured. Leia looked back up to see that Luke had switched his targeting computer off and was being pursued by Imperial ships. She gasped in worry. “Luke, you switched off your targeting computer. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m all right.” The voice was muddled, but she recognized confidence in the young man’s voice. There was noise of commotion for a few moments before he said, “I’ve lost Artoo!”

“No,” Leia whispered, her entire body frozen. It felt unreal that the young, innocent boy she’d met only that morning was about to die for a cause he had only joined that day. She stood, ignoring Reeikan’s grunt of indignation at her moving from her seat. She leaned over the command table, searching the screens and data pads for some sign he’d be okay.

Suddenly, another voice spoke. “Yahoo!” Someone yelled from the communicator. All heads turned to the small speaker to gauge who this newcomer may be. The control table lit up to indicate that the ships following Luke’s craft had been destroyed entirely. “You’re all clear, kid. Now let’s blow this thing and go home!”

“Is that?” Leia looked at Rieekan for confirmation.

“I believe that’s Captain Solo, Your Highness.” The pair walked closer to the communicator to hear what was going on. Suddenly, one of the admirals working the control table gasped.

“It’s gone!”

“Pardon?” Leia asked.

“The Death Star. It’s exploded. It’s gone!” People began to cheer around them, throwing their hats into the air and papers began to fly like snowflakes on a winter night. 

“Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!” The voice of Han Solo said over the communicator. So it was Luke who had made the final shot. What luck she had that the message in Artoo had landed in his hands! 

“Princess,” General Dodonna greeted as he walked up to Leia and Rieekan. “I’m sorry I couldn’t greet you earlier.”

“General, so good to see you,” she said.

“My condolences for your home planet.” _Stop. Stop. Stop._ She was already having trouble keeping the tears at bay.

“Thank you, General. Is there something you needed?”

“With the news of the Death Star’s destruction, we’ll be having an emergency debriefing with all of the remaining pilots from the battle and High Command to make sure we have everything accurately recorded. We’ll be seeing you two in the Silver Meeting Hall.” Dodonna pointed to the door on the eastern wall. “It’s three doors down out that hallway. We’re meeting as soon as the pilots have had a chance to touch down, so give it about an hour.”

“Keep us updated,” Rieekan said. Leia felt unable to contain her excitement. Change was finally happening! It felt like years and years of secrecy, of daring flights escaping Imperial capture and of late nights with her parents figuring out how to continue supplying the Alliance was finally coming to fruition. This victory, although small in the grand scheme of everything they still had to do, was momentous. Other star systems wouldn’t be able to ignore the Alliance any longer. 

“I can’t believe it,” Leia whispered to Rieekan.

“I’m very proud of you,” Rieekan said back. “Your parents would be too.”

**_HAN_ **

His hands shook as the Falcon touched down on the ground. His whole body was tense, and he couldn’t believe they had actually done it. Through the cockpit windows, he could see the beginnings of celebrations on the hangar floor, and although some pilots were still making their way back, the hangar was considerably emptier than it was when they’d left. His face twisted in anger as he pictured the families whose son or daughter wasn’t returning because they’d blasted off into space to go fight for a cause they believed in. What a bunch of fools. 

_“We did good, Cub.”_ Chewie said.

“Yeah, yeah, you old softie.” Han nudged him off as they opened the ramp to exit. They made a beeline for Luke’s ship, and a big crowd was waiting to help him out and celebrate his winning shot. Han shoved his way to the front to give the kid a giant bear hug. People around them were crying, cheering, kissing random people out of complete utter glee that they had done the unthinkable.

“I knew you’d come back! I just knew it!” Luke said with giddiness.

“Well, I wasn’t going to let you take all the credit and take all the reward,” Han joked. He felt another set of arms wrap themselves around him, these were daintier and clothed in white.

“I knew there was more to you than money!” Leia said, laughing. Han felt suddenly at peace, with the movement of pilots and technicians around him, surrounded by people he had just gone through one of the most fucked up days of his life with. Leia led them to a hallway, where people continued to clap them on the back for their efforts.

“We’re having a classified debriefing for the leaders and High Command, but I thought you three should be there too.” Leia gave Han a pointed look. “Do not get me fired.”

“No promises, Princess,” he said, flicking her arm. She nudged him back, a warmth in her eyes. He felt his heart stir, then shoved it down and looked straight ahead. _Don’t get attached._

“There must have been some reason for you to turn back,” Leia pried. He froze, then continued walking, shaking his head.

“Just felt bad for the kid, Your Worship. Nothing else.”

The debriefing, as it turned out, was endlessly boring. The commanders all told the exact same stories in great detail, and it was two hours of listening to talk about calculation malfunctions before Luke and him even got a turn to speak. Han went first, since he was sure Luke’s testimony would be eons more interesting than his.

“Well, I took off at 1600 hours, set course for Tatooine before turning around to head after the Death Star. We arrived at 1645 hours, I followed Skywalker’s ship and exploded two Imperial ships that were following him, then I pulled back up to allow Skywalker to explode the Death Star. That’s about it.” Han hoped there would be no more questions, and for the most part there wasn’t, except for one tiny hand that shot up, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“Just a few questions, Captain Solo,” Leia started. “Why did you turn back if you had already set course for Tatooine?”

“Does it matter?” He said, trying to avoid the truth.

“I think it does,” Leia said, willing the board to agree. “It’s an inconsistency in your story that you said earlier,” Leia checked her notes to get his exact words, “and I quote, ‘There’s nothing for me here.’ If there’s nothing of value with the Alliance, why help us?”

“I agree,” General Reeikan said. “It’s important to get all parts of the story, Captain.”

“I guess I just felt bad for the kid.”

“Kid?” Reeikan probed.

“Lieutenant Skywalker.” It was strange to hear Luke’s name with a prestigious title before it. To him, he was still the scruffy kid he’d met a day ago who was so naive he thought he could bust into the Death Star with only a smuggler, a Wookie, two droids and an ancient Jedi knight and save a princess. Though, if you think about it, he technically did. “I got a feeling he was going to need some backup.”

“So, nothing else then?” Leia asked.

“What, are you disappointed?” He sneered. Leia’s face flushed and she looked back down at her datapad.

“No, that’s all we needed to know.” He sat back down and crossed his leg onto his knee, leaning back comfortably. He better be paid well for this.

“Lieutenant Skywalker, your testimony.” General Dodonna spoke. Luke stood up, looking suddenly sheepish, which was strange to see on the face of a boy who practically exploded with excitement at the prospect of going kamikaze on the Imperial army. He adjusted his flight suit for a moment before looking back up. His testimony was normal, about what Han expected, until he paused near the end.

“So, I shut off my targeting computer and used the Force to guide my shot.” The board went silent.

“You… I’m sorry, are you Force-sensitive?”

“Yes,” Luke answered. “General Kenobi was right. The Force is more powerful than your own senses. It was more accurate than the computer would have been. That’s what I think, at least,” he added in an effort to make his proclamation sound a little less crazy. It didn’t help.

“In any case, it was an exceptional shot,” Reeikan finally spoke.

“Yes. There’s just one more matter of business, and then we’ll let you go eat and rest,” General Dodonna stood to address the group of pilots and board members. “Mon Mothma, who could not be here in time for the meeting but professes her thanks to the brave soldiers who fought, as well as myself think it wise to take advantage of the Empire’s momentary weakness.” Han nodded in agreement. Now was the time to go batshit crazy on the rest of the Empire, now that their defenses were down. Dodonna continued. “We would like to hold a ceremony to be televised onto every holo in the Galaxy that the Empire controls, to honor the lives of those on Aldeeran, and also to honor Captain Solo and Lieutenant Skywalker for their efforts in today’s battle.” He looked at Leia expectantly. “We thought it appropriate that Her Highness should present the awards and speak on behalf of Aldeeran.”

Leia remained silent, looking confused and the slightest bit put off. “General, do you really think it’s the time for celebration? There’s so much work to be done.”

“There’s no time like the present, Your Highness. We must begin recruiting more troops and more allies, and we must spread the news that Aldeeran has been destroyed along with the Death Star. I thought you would be happy about the idea.” So Leia wasn’t consulted about this first. _What a prick._

“Well, it’s a no for me.” Han finally said. “I don’t need a target on my head.”

“Han, seriously?” Luke sighed. “It’s just a medal.”

“Yeah, that everyone on a civilized star system will see. I don’t need to get tangled up in this revolution.” Han gathered his things, tired of listening to their nonsense. “I’ll be leaving as soon as I get an all clear, General.” And with that, Han Solo left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wondering if anybody knows what the title of the work is referencing? Just curious. :) Leave a comment!


	4. In Which She Gives Him a Medal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han Solo is definitely NOT going to accept the medal. He's leaving. He really is.

**_Leia_ **

Leia had only just begun braiding her hair when she heard a knock at her door. Her quarters were small, smaller than her bathroom was on Alderaan, but still much more generous than those of the lower ranking rebels. Being a princess did have its perks. She tried to tie her hair into a semi presentable ponytail, her braid crown only half-finished, and jogged to open her door. She paused when she had to look straight up and, to her chagrin, see the face of Han Solo staring back at her.

“Captain,” she greeted formally.

“Knock it off, Princess. We dug through garbage together. Just call me Han.” She couldn’t help but crack a smile. While everyone else on the base walked on eggshells around her to address her formally and never joke with her, Han did have a certain casualness around her that was refreshing.

“What do you need?”

“Just saying goodbye.” His smile faltered.

“Oh. Already?” Leia opened the door wider to let him enter. Her dress was still laid out on her bed, and he took the cloth between his fingers, admiring the layers of fabric. She hadn’t changed because the dress she had managed to scrounge up looked so much like her senatorial gown that she didn’t want it to touch her skin for as long as she could hold off putting it on.

“Can’t hold off much longer.”

“Why do you need to blast off so soon?” Han looked up, his gaze carefully locked with hers. “Why not stay for a little bit?”

“You can just say you’re going to miss me, Princess.” Leia flushed.

“That’s not the case, Han, as much as I know you wish it were,” she shot back. “But you’re a good pilot, and you’re a hell of a leader. And we made you a medal. Why not just accept it?”

“Probably the same reason you don’t want to present it to me.” Han sat down on her bed, leaning back as he observed her.

“What gives you that idea? It’s an honor,” Leia lied. 

“It’s written all over your face. This is sick.” It was true. Leia thought it was time to grieve for Aldeeran and for the pilots that had died during the attack on the Death Star. It was certainly not the time to stick a depressed princess who had just lost her parents onto a stage to give her equally traumatized comrades a medal for their troubles.

“It doesn’t matter what I think,” Leia said quickly, turning back to the mirror to finish her braid.

“It does,” Han insisted, catching her hand and turning her to look back at him. “You don’t like this? Then don’t do it.”

“Don’t you see? I have to do it,” Leia’s voice began to break. “If I don’t keep this up, Aldeeran is going to be nothing more than a name someone will memorize for a history class on why you shouldn’t rebel against the Empire. It’ll be nothing more than a test question. I can’t handle that.” She felt like her entire world was spinning, and she leaned against the wall, unable to deal with the gravity of the situation.

“Hey, hey,” Han said, grabbing under her arms and leading her to the bed. “Don’t get all upset. I’m really just here to say farewell, Your Majesty.”

“Goodbye, Captain Solo.”

“Au revoir, Your Highness.” She stared at the door long after it closed, breathing deeply as she tried not to think of the cocky smuggler who had waltzed into her life and confused her. She’d had crushes before, but this felt different. It was more of an… admiration. Which was strange, she thought as she sat down on the bed, because there certainly weren’t any qualities in the man she wished to mimic. It was closer to an appreciation of the kind of person he chose to be. Brave as all hell.  _ Well, not brave enough to receive a medal.  _ It took all of her mental capacity to stand up, stretching every single muscle before hauling herself to her feet. Muscle memory completed her braid, and she felt a cold emptiness in her heart. Usually, her mother would help her braid her hair for parties, and her father would escort her to the function and tell her how beautiful she looked. She managed to stare at her reflection without tears until it came time to put on the dress, and she had to search for someone to help her put it on.

“Lieutenant?” She said as she stumbled upon Lieutenant Henna Reverie, who was a doctor who’d helped her with her lightsaber burns. She’d met her a few times before, and knew Henna could be trusted with this task, which to anyone else would be insignificant, but to anyone born on Aldeeran would be a momentous honor. Seeing somebody exposed is a sacred form of trust.

“Princess!” Henna hugged her tightly, and Leia winced as her hands brushed her burns. “Are you ready for your speech? I don’t see how you can even walk with how many meds we gave you.”

“I didn’t take them.”

“Damn, you’re a tough bitch,” Henna said. Like Han, Henna lacked the propriety that the rest of the base strived to achieve in her royal presence. 

“Could you help me put on this dress?” The two walked back to her quarters, and Henna gasped upon seeing the dress.

“It’s beautiful! Where did you find it?”

“I’m not sure, but I think it might have been somebody’s wedding dress.” Leia stepped into the dress and Henna zipped it up, careful not to touch her back too much.

“Well, you look great.” Henna looked into her eyes, her voice growing concerned. “How are you doing, by the way?” And that was it. Leia collapsed into her arms, disgusting noises of grief and sobs coming from her. Henna pulled her onto the bed, where Leia cried into her shoulder.

“They’re just… Henna, they’re just gone. My parents, my friends, everyone. They’re gone.”

“I know, I’m so sorry,” Henna breathed.

“I don’t even know what to do,” Leia sniffled as she pulled away, trying not to embarrass herself any further. “Dodonna wants me to make this grand speech, and I don’t even-”

“Shh,” Henna shushed her, cutting her off. “Just speak from the heart.”

“What if I say something bad, or wrong?”

“Well, what happened was bad and wrong. So you can’t mess up,” Henna said, her face serious. “Just try your best, Leia. Hold it together for an hour, and then you can come take a huge nap.” Leia nodded, wiping her tears. She expected Henna to leave, but instead her new friend pulled her into the bathroom, washed Leia’s face, and reapplied her makeup. By the time Henna was done, she realized that she was close to crying again from the familiar feeling of connection. She thought when Aldeeran had exploded, she’d never be able to feel it again. But the feeling of friendship had followed her. It was comforting.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Princess.”

“Henna, it’s okay to call me Leia. I don’t mind.” The two girls hugged and Henna left, leaving Leia to escort herself to the grand temple where the event was taking place. Leia was in a small room on the side of the raised platform where she would be standing for the speech, trying not to freak out. She’d made hundreds of speeches in her life, but none of them felt quite as important to nail down as this one. If done right, this would be a speech mentioned thousands of years into the future. 

“You look beautiful,” she heard Rieekan say behind her. She turned around with a smile. She was so, so glad she still had the Alderaanian general with her. 

“Thank you, General.” She saw a figure moving closer to her behind Rieekan, but she focused on the General instead, trying to remember simpler times when he had escorted her to potentially dangerous meetings with foreign leaders, and comforted her when her biggest concern was not having a dress adjusted in time for a ball. How shallow she had been.

“Princess.” She looked behind Rieekan, startled. Han Solo stood with a cocky smile, ruffling his hair. “I came back.”

“So you did,” she said, trying not to smile. 

“Figured I could pawn the medal. I definitely did not get paid near enough for rescuing you, Your Mightiness. I could use the credits.”

“Well then you’d better find Luke. He’s at the end of the corridor.” They stared at each other, a sort of sparking excitement coursing through the air.

“You look good,” he said as he turned on his heel and left. She looked down at his boots. They were freshly polished.

“Well,” Rieekan said simply. Leia hummed in agreement, but then she heard Dodonna introducing her, and she suddenly felt sick. What if she totally messed up her speech? She had drilled  it with Rieekan for a few minutes, but he suggested just as Henna suggested that she speak from the heart. But her heart felt heavy and dark, and she was worried anything she said would come out sounding horrible.

“And please join me in celebrating Princess Leia Organa, the Last Princess of Alderaan.” She felt her stomach lurch.  _ The Last Princess of Alderaan?  _ What kind of sick power play was that?  She swallowed her anger and stepped from the side room onto the stage, waving at the throngs of Alliance soldiers who were standing at attention. They were clapping respectfully, and luckily they looked equally uncomfortable about the way she was being represented in front of the entire galaxy.

“At ease, soldiers.” She began. “Today is a momentous day, not just for the Alliance, but for the galaxy. Today we have made the first step towards eradicating an Empire that has for too long oppressed it’s people. How many families have they destroyed with their greed? What kind of destruction have they brought on with their lust for power? Well, I know of one family. Mine. And I know of their destruction; they destroyed my home.  Alderaan was a beautiful, peaceful planet. We preached harmony and happiness for the entire galaxy. It was only through their hunger for domination that they brought themselves to destroy an innocent star system that fought for justice for the galaxy. Today, although we celebrate, we also mourn for the loss of my parents Senator Bail and Queen Breha Organa, along with the millions of lives that perished.” There was a solemn silence, and Leia wished she could let that be the end of the speech, but she knew she must continue. 

“On the other hand, with the destruction of Alderaan came a victory on behalf of its survivors. Today we destroyed the Death Star, a powerful base that had the ability to destroy anything in its path.” She heard Rieekan walk next to her with the medals for the two men. “We would like to specifically honor two brave men who helped bring us to our victory: Captain Han Solo and Lieutenant Luke Skywalker. At attention, men.”

The soldiers turned together to face the walkway in the middle as Han and Luke began to walk down. Luke must have borrowed a jacket from someone, Leia suspected Wedge Antilles, because he was looking as sharp as if he had a full wardrobe to select from. Leia reflected on the fact that he too today lost his family. She felt like they were kindred spirits, and although she could never see herself feeling anything romantic for him, she felt an odd connection to him she’d never felt with anyone else.  Han, on the other hand, walked smugly down the aisle without a care in the world. He kept his eyes locked on hers, and they twinkled as if they were sharing a joke nobody else understood. As they reached her feet, Luke and Chewbacca quickly bowed to her, and although he hesitated, Han dipped his head. She tried her best not to smirk as she took the medal from General Rieekan and placed it onto Han’s neck. He looked back up and winked at-  _ winked at her! _

She shook her head slightly, shocked that this man hadn’t already been killed by somebody annoyed by his childish antics. She felt her mood lighten when she placed the medal on Luke’s neck, who was grinning ear to ear with pride. They turned to the holotape, which she was sure was projecting them to every holo in the galaxy. She felt a warm fuzziness course through her, and she was almost happy. Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Leave a comment if you enjoyed. Thank you for reading!


	5. In Which He Tells Her The Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han hasn't been completely transparent with Leia- that's about to change.

**_HAN_**

Han stared at his calculations, breathing deeply, trying not to panic. He was short. Not terribly short, but through the money he had to spend on repairs and stocking the Falcon back up, he had drained a lot of the credits he had gotten for Leia’s rescue. He ran his fingers through his hair, leaning back. Now what was he going to do? Chewie sat next to him, sipping a fresh cup of kaffe.

_“Something wrong?”_

“We’re 1,000 credits short, Chewie.” Han stole Chewie’s cup and took a sip.

_“That’s bad news, Cub.”_

“You said it.” Han slowly rose to his feet after having a lengthy stretch. “We’ll have to land on Tatooine and do a few quick jobs before we see Jabba.”

_“I have an easier way.”_ Chewie looked at him, a smug grin on his face.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m not hauling Her Worship’s linens across the galaxy to- gosh, where are they going?”

_“Classified. You would know if you took the job.”_

“Guess it’ll be a mystery, then,” Han said pointedly. 

“What will be a mystery?” A new voice sounded from behind him. He turned and jumped when he saw Leia with arms crossed. She really had a way of sneaking up on people.

“The location of the new palace they’re building for you.”

“Bet you wish you knew. You could rob it blind.” Leia crossed to the table and sat next to Chewie as if she had known them for a lifetime. Sometimes it felt like they had, and even though in reality they had known each other for only a week, Han felt a strange sorrow that he would soon never see the feisty princess again.

“What do you need?”

“The offer is still on the table, Captain.” Leia picked at her nails, avoiding eye contact. “We could use your ship, and your skills.”

“I told you no, Princess. Now get off my ship,” he said, although he really wished she wouldn’t.

“Seriously, Han. What’s keeping you from staying?”

“It’s none of your business.” Really, nothing made people freak out like hearing about a Death Mark. He was afraid she’d go ballistic if she knew.

“What, you have a wife at home?”

“Are you jealous?” He smiled.

“What? Jealous- Captain, I assure you I have no interest in your romantic life.” Leia flushed and stood back up, headed for the exit.

“Where are you going?” Han asked, following her.

“Didn’t you say you wanted me off the ship?” Damn. He did say that. He followed her, trying to think of something to say to keep the conversation going. He was going to leave: he promised himself he was. But he wanted just a few more minutes with her. He started to frustrate himself, and feel his blood beginning to boil.

“I thought you had something you wanted to say.”

“Then tell me! Why won’t you help the Alliance?” Her voice was rising.

“I have a Death Mark, okay!” He yelled. She went completely silent, and her face went pale. Damn. Well, so much for keeping it a secret.

“Wha- A Death Mark? Han, from who?”

“Jabba the Hutt.” She put a hand to her forehead.

“What about Jabba?” Luke climbed up the ramp, presumingly having heard their yelling coming from the Falcon.

“Han has a Death Mark,” Leia tried to say quietly.

“How did you get that? Han, Jabba is bad news.” Luke’s brows furrowed, his voice rising in panic.

“I know, kid. That’s why I have to go.” Han turned to leave, but Leia grabbed his wrist.

“Well, did you even think of asking us for help?” Leia asked, sounding hurt. She looked up at him through her lashes. “There must be something Luke and I could do, if not the Alliance as a whole. I could ask General Rieekan if-”

“This is my battle, okay? I’m not getting you mixed up in this.” Han broke free from her. “Chewie, start up the auxiliary power. We’re leaving as soon as I can get these two off of my ship.”

_“Be nice, Han,”_ Chewie growled in a warning. _“This might be the last time you see them.”_

“That’s the point.” 

“Han, why do you have a Death Mark?” Luke asked. “I mean, with Jabba, you literally could have just looked at him the wrong way.” 

“I owe him some credits, at least he thinks I do. I dropped some stuff I was smuggling when I got boarded and he wants me to pay all of it back to him.” Why was he even telling them this?

“Oh, it’s just money?” Leia scoffed. “How much could it be?”

“I’m 1,000 short,” he said, challenging her with his gaze. She gasped.

“The mission would pay 2,500! Han, there’s no sense not taking it now. You need the money.”

“I don’t need anything of yours, Your Worship.” He sneered.

“Han, just take the mission,” Luke insisted. “It’s not going to take more than a week, you get the credits, pay Jabba off, and come back.”

“Who says I’m coming back?” Han said. “I told you guys, I’m in this for the money. Get in, get out.”

“You’re lying,” Leia said sharply.

“Am I?” He challenged. 

“Okay, stop arguing,” Luke stood between them. “Han, it’s foolish of you not to take the mission now. Just take it.” Han knew he had to. He just didn’t want to admit he was wrong. But he finally sighed and admitted defeat.

“Chewie, shut down the power.”

_“Ahead of schedule, Cub,”_ the smug Wookie said as he rounded the corner. _“I never even started it.”_

“I’m gonna fire you.”

_“Good luck trying to haul me off the ship.”_ They exchanged smiles as Luke and Leia stared on in confusion. It was funny to see them try to follow the conversation, only understanding one of the languages being spoken.

“So, you’re taking the mission on?” Leia said, a small smile spreading across her face.

“It appears I am.” Luke and Leia looked at each other, smiling triumphantly, and Han felt a strange melancholy feeling at being left out of the two’s friendship. _Jealousy? Again?_ “I would now like to know exactly what the mission is?”

“The usual stuff,” Leia began casually. “Moving all of our supplies to our new base and escorting the higher ranking staff members.”

“Higher ranking?” He questioned.

“Me, you’d be escorting me.”

“Oh, that’s gotta be a deal breaker. I cannot put up with your bratty attitude all the time it takes to get to… where is your new base?”

“Alcyorn,” Leia and Luke answered. Han wrinkled his nose in disgust. Alcyorn was a remote planet that never, ever stopped raining.

“We’ve actually had the base there for years, it’s only recently been expanded to help fit the overflow that will come from Yavin,” Leia shared. “I visited once, several years ago.”

“And? Are you excited to return?” Luke asked hopefully.

“Umm… well, Luke, maybe you’ll like it! I mean, you lived on Tatooine, you’ve probably never seen rain,” Leia tried to keep him happy. He perked up at the thought of a new experience and grinned.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Look, I’ve gotta meet Antilles, I’ll see you later. I’m glad you’re staying, Han.”

“I’m sure you are, kid.” Luke turned and left, patting Leia on the shoulder to say goodbye.

“So, what about my bratty attitude?” Leia probed.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to stay in my smuggling compartment while we’re flying. You’re so bothersome it’s distracting.”

“Yeah, you look torn up about it.” Han realized he was grinning.

“It’s a safety hazard.”

“I’m sure.”

“Well, Your Majesty, let me clear up some space in the closet for you to sleep in and we’ll be ready for takeoff.” Leia smiled. A real, genuine smile. It felt really nice to see the stress lift from her shoulders as they talked as casually as if they were discussing the soup of the day. Since they had met, he hadn’t seen her calm, ever. He still hadn’t, but he could feel like the person beneath the grief and trauma she was processing through was really beautiful. Still was. It was another week before he and Leia actually left together for Alcyorn, and it was with little fanfare at first. In fact, Han had been so busy with transporting crates of food, documents and medications that they hadn’t talked all week, and other than a quick check in to make sure she was strapped in (and thoroughly invested in her work on her data-pad) they took off into the galaxy. Only when they were safely in lightspeed with a five hour trip in front of them did Han settle down at the table with Leia.

“So, Your Highness, Alcyorn was every bit as incredible I remember. I think my socks are still wet.”

“Are they?” She said, a small smile playing on her lips as she kept her eyes trained on the datapad. “Who knows, maybe you’ll come to call it home.”

“Not likely.”

“Speaking of,” Leia started.

“Don’t even, Princess. I know where this is going.” Han went to stand back up. He wasn’t ready to argue with Leia about his leaving again.

“Really, Han. I think you should stay.”

“Princess, I’ve only known about this rebellion for a few weeks. I have no reason to stay once I get my payment.” Leia stood back up with him.

“You hate the Empire just as much as I do,” she insisted.

“Maybe even more,” he agreed. “But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Yes, there is. You have the power to make a difference. You just… won’t.”

“You said it, I didn’t.” Han said sarcastically.

“Fine. Let’s just get to Alcyorn, and then you can receive your payment and leave.”

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Leave a comment if you want, and leave a Kudos if you've been enjoying the work so far! Thank you so much for reading! I know this chapter was kind of short, but I promise the next one is longer- and we're about to meet a new character who's going to flip the story upside down. (PS, there's only one chapter left for Part One of Life Goes On.)


	6. In Which He Dissapears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han has to leave. Leia doesn't want him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep an open mind.

**_LEIA_ **

Leia hated the rain. Really, if there was any planet that could be any more different from Aldeeran than Alcyorn was, she’d be shocked. Even the short walk from the hangar to command central, where there was a brief interlude where the roof gave way to a small courtyard (she could barely dignify the small patch of moss covered ground with pouring rain as a courtyard), her hair was soaked and shoes slippery. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to boil over in anger. Why, oh why did she ever vote to approve the new base? 

“It’s cold,” she whimpered.

“Yes, Your Highness, it is,” Han said. “It’s raining. It does that here” She was still looking down, fuming, when she bumped into somebody and fell on the floor.

“Ow!” She exclaimed.

“Oh, my apologies, ma’am,” the person said, extending a hand. She took it, looking up at the person she’d just run into, and she paused. He looked equally startled.

“Derrick?”

“Leia! Oh, it’s so good to see you!” He helped her up and into a tight embrace. “I didn’t know you were getting transferred to Hoth! I thought I would never see you again.”

“Why didn’t you try to contact me when I was on Yavin? I had no idea you were even still alive!” Derrick’s hands were steadily on her waist, keeping her from falling again. He had the same warmth and strength she’d come to depend on in her childhood.

“I didn’t know how. Anyways, it’s all okay now. You’re here!”

“Who’s this?” Han asked. She’d almost forgotten he was there.

“Oh, sorry, Han. Captain, this is Derrick Aberdeen. He’s the son of Senator Denrey Aberdeen, I grew up with him.” The two men shook hands, and although Derrick’s eyes were friendly, Han’s weren’t. “And Derrick, this is Captain Han Solo.”

“Millenium Falcon,” Han explained.

“Oh, I’ve heard of you,” Derrick said in awe. “Kessel Run!”

“I must be a shitty smuggler if you’ve heard of me.” The three of them began walking towards command again, and although Derrick had been walking the opposite way to begin with, Leia suspected it was just so they could spend some time together. After being in Han’s exhausting presence for the last few hours, it was nice to have a calmer presence around.

“No, don’t worry. It was only from Alliance reports, recently. We had to get a full profile on you to make sure you weren’t a threat.”

“What are you up to, reading up on me?” Han’s tone deepened in suspicion.

“I wanted to see who it was who rescued Leia,” Derrick responded sheepishly. “I was worried sick.”

“How do you think I felt,” Leia joked. It almost felt like a distant memory, her time on the Death Star. But it wasn’t. Her scars still twinged with pain and her heart ache deepened as she remembered the solitary hours, the tormenting sessions in the presence of Darth Vader, and seeing her planet destroyed in front of her very eyes. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself, as if it would help make the memories go away.

“It wasn’t just me,” Han said defensively. “My co-pilot Chewbacca and Lieutenant Skywalker were also there.”

“As well as General Kenobi,” Derrick confirmed. He had really done his research.

“I’ve missed you, Derrick,” Leia said suddenly.

“It’s been too long.” The three of them reached command central, and Derrick said his goodbyes and went on his merry way. 

“He seems nice,” Han said, though his tone of voice says otherwise.

“You don’t seem to like him very much,” Leia teased.

“No, I like him fine. Come on, I want my money.” Han grabbed her wrist and yanked her into the command center. It was a long hallway, with a larger space at the end for the desks of High Command. Leia could see one that was empty with her name plate already situated on it. She began to make mental plans of where she would place her files, where she would store her datapads, and maybe even where she could keep a holo or two.

“Your Highness!” General Dodonna looked up from his desk with a smile. “Captain, how was the journey?”

“Smooth,” Han said. “Just one more trip to pick up some last minute supplies and General Rieekan and I should be done.”

“Well, I’m sad to see you go, Captain. Let me know when you get back and we’ll arrange payment.”

“Works for me. See you soon, Princess,” Han said, turning to leave.

“Han, wait!” Leia said, turning around with him. “You’re just going? Why don’t you at least stay for dinner?”

“I’d like to spend the least amount of time possible on this puddle of a planet,” Han said gruffly.

“Well, make sure you say goodbye before you leave, okay?”

“I promise, Your Worship. Now I’ve really got to go.” Han touched his hand to her shoulder, smiled and left. Leia watched him leave and shook her head. Han was, in a word, an enigma. She had truly never met a man so confusing in her life. Sometimes he would seem like a kind, genuine man, and sometimes he was closer to being the scum of the galaxy than a Hutt. She turned around to General Dodonna’s smile.

“He’s a confusing man,” the General said sympathetically.

“He certainly is.” 

**_HAN_ **

General Rieekan was a quiet passenger. Han was used to this: sometimes passengers wanted the voyage to be strictly professional, with the only contact being at takeoff and landing. But the silence was more out of a need to get work done than an avoidance of conversation, much like with Leia. So when he passed the table to go get a cup of kaffe, he was surprised when the older general addressed him.

“So, you’re taking off right after we land?” He asked. Han stopped in his tracks, surprised to hear him speak.

“That’s the plan,” he answered.

“Make sure you say goodbye to the Princess,” he advised.

“Yeah, she’ll probably have a conniption fit if I don’t.” He snorted in amusement. 

“She might,” the general warned darkly. Han got himself a cup and began sipping, letting the bitter taste of the kaffe wake him back up. The last few weeks had been exhausting, but it would be worth it to pay off his debt to Jabba and start with a clean slate. No past, no future, but an infinite present.  _ Then what? _

“You knew her before, right?” Han asked.

“Before?” The general looked up in confusion, then realized. “Oh. Yes, I knew her when Aldeeran existed.”

“What was she like?” He asked casually. The general smiled and leaned back as if recounting memories.

“She was the most beloved baby on Alderaan. When she was adopted, the entire country rejoiced. Growing up, she loved having her hair down, but eventually she had to start braiding it up. But sometimes, when her mom wasn’t looking, I would help her unbraid her hair so she could run her fingers through it. Eventually, she stopped taking it down and left it up all the time. She said she looked too young with it down. She hates looking young.  She and Derrick would run around in the courtyard outside and play tag, and when she would win, he would pull one of her braids and call her names, and she would threaten to have him executed. Even at a young age, she wasn’t going to let any man hold her down. Then when Derrick and her father convinced her to join the Senate… I don’t know. I think things may have been different for her, happier maybe. She got so mature.” He looked wistfully at his datapad. “It hurts to see her like this, you know? She’s grown so much. Too much. She’s only 19.”

“She’s only 19?” Han gasped. She was so, so young.

“Surprising, right?” Rieekan smiled ruefully. “She doesn’t look or act her age. She joined the Alliance when she was 16, and the Senate when she was 17.”

“Wow,” he exhaled. “So, who’s this Derrick guy? Senator’s son, or something like that?”

“Oh, they were childhood friends. Every single tabloid on Aldeeran was rooting for them to get together the older they got. And sure, he escorted her to parties and they were good friends, but to my knowledge, nothing ever came of it.” Han felt himself release the breath he had been holding. Why was he so anxious to know? Rieekan grinned knowingly. “Why, were you interested?”

“Derrick’s not really my type.”

“You know fully well what I meant, Captain,” Rieekan said. 

“Leia?” Han rolled his eyes, pretending to be put off. “She’s way too young for me. Besides, she’s a stuck up, nosy, loud mouthed know it all. I’ll pass.”

“That’s a long winded way of saying yes.”

“I will throw you off the ship,” Han threatened, retreating to the cockpit. He closed the door behind him, looking over at Chewie.

_ “Getting in a fight with the passengers again?” _

“He started it,” Han grumbled.

_ “He was right. You like the little princess.”  _ Han looked at him angrily.

“Hey, knock it off. Sure, she’s pretty and smart. And she has nice skin. But I’ve got bigger problems than wide-eyed princesses to deal with.”

_ “She does have nice skin,”  _ Chewie agreed.

“Not the point.”

The Falcon landed on Alcyorn right after dinner, in the midst of a monstrous storm. Most of the personnel had vacated the hangar other than mandatory employee members, and even they were moping around unhappily in raincoats and boots. General Rieekan and Han booked it to the command center to sort out Han’s payment and leave. Chewbacca, wishing to avoid getting his fur wet, stayed on the Falcon to try to clean up a little bit before takeoff.

“2,500 credits, all right here,” General Dodonna said, handing him a package of credits when he reached the command center.

“Thank you, General. How soon can I take off?”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like to stay the night? No one should be out in that storm,” Dodonna advised.

“I have somewhere to be.” Really, Han was afraid he’d convince himself to stay if he waited any longer, and didn’t want to lose his nerve. Luckly, Dodonna sighed and checked his datapad.

“I can have you out within the hour,” he concluded.

“Thank you, General.”

“The pleasure was ours, Captain. We may be in touch in the future with more work for you, if you’d be interested.”

“You can try,” Han said vaguely, shaking the extended hand Dodonna gave him. He then shook General Rieekan’s hand, who gave him a pointed look.

“I expect the Princess should be in the dining hall still. You should talk to her before you leave.”

“I will, General,” Han promised. “Goodbye.”

Han found his way to the dining hall, which was just as uncomfortably wet and sodden as the rest of the base, and looked around for Leia. While he found no sign of the princess, he did see Luke, and he jogged over to see his friend again. Luke beamed and stood up, embracing him tightly.

“Han! How was the mission?” Luke asked.

“Honestly? Boring,” Han yawned, feigning boredom as he sat down with Luke. “After the Death Star debacle, I was expecting more drama out of the trip.”

“That’s what Leia said,” Luke admitted.

“Do you know where she is?”

“She was tired, she went back to her room.” Han looked across the table to see Derrick was sitting across from them, a friendly smile on his face.

“Oh, I didn’t see you there,” Han muttered.

“You actually just missed her,” Luke lamented. “You could probably catch her if you went now.”

“I’ll go later. I want to catch up with you, what have you been up to since I haven’t been here to save your skin?” Luke smiled goodnaturedly and delved into stories of failed speeder experiments, near-death experiences climbing the tall trees in the forest to try to set up power cables, and this cute new girl who helped him replace a failed motivator in his X-Wing.

“You should go after her,” Derrick advised.

“Nah, I’m not really interested.” Han looked over to see Luke squirming ever so slightly in his seat. He quickly surmised it was because he still had feelings for Leia, which was understandable. He also realized that, just like Leia, he’d lost his guardians and home in the same day, but unlike Leia he also had to adapt to a new environment he’d never been to before and make an entire new group of friends. He felt bad for the kid.

“I’d better get going before that storm gets any worse,” Han said.

“You’re leaving now?”

“I have places to be,” Han explained, standing up.

“You’re a good captain, Han. Your talents will be missed.” Han looked sideways at Derrick, understanding the underlying meaning there. Your  _ talents  _ will be missed. As a smuggler and an expert sabacc player, he knew how crummy politicians like him worked. Their words always had hidden messages. He’d already decided he didn’t like Aberdeen just because of the way he flirted with Leia, but this solidified it.

“Take care of yourself, Darren.”

“It’s Derrick,” he corrected lamely. 

“My apologies. Goodbye, Luke. May the Force be with you.” He gave the kid a pat on the head and turned to head back to the hangar, ignoring his anger that he wouldn’t get to see the princess again. Then he stopped, confused. Why did he feel such a powerful urge to see her again? He stood in the hallway, trying to sort his feelings, when General Rieekan approached him.

“You say goodbye to her yet?”

“No, sir. Can’t find her.” Han responded.

“I’m fairly sure she’s in her room. Two hallways down, third one on your right.” Rieekan looked at him meaningfully. “I’m serious, Captain. Let her know you’re leaving.”

“Why does it matter so much? She’s only known me a week,” he pointed out.

“She feels indebted to you,” Rieekan explained. “Moreover, she likes you. She considers you a friend. And I do believe, no matter what you try to say, you reciprocate that feeling.”

“We’re not friends,” he tried to say convincingly.

“Why else would you have come back?” Rieekan turned heel. “Two hallways down, third on your right.” Han slowly forced himself to move down the hallway, finding his way down the mostly empty corridors before he found himself in front of what he assumed to be the correct room. The light under the door was shining bright, and through the curtained window to her room he could see the faintest outline of her reading a book.  He raised his hand to knock, but hesitated. It would be so, so much easier just to hop on his ship and leave. She would never even know he had been here tonight and would just assume he left without saying goodbye to anybody. So what if she hated him forever? Odds were he didn’t have too long of a forever anyways, where he was headed. People walked by him, staring strangely at him as he raised his hand next to the door, staring blankly at the white plastic.

“Having trouble?” Derrick said. Han hadn’t noticed him arrive.

“Just here to say goodbye,” he explained, lowering his hand.

“I see.” They stood in silence. “Are you going to go in?”

“I will,” he said. Another beat of silence passed through them.

“You know, Han,” Derrick began, “I’ve been wondering if maybe you should just go.”

“Go?”

“Leia really cares about you. I know you don’t know her very well, but she has a big heart, and she really appreciates you. Even if she doesn’t show it,” he smirked. “And you’re leaving is  going to have a big impact on her. She’s already lost so much. You don’t even know how much she’s lost, even before Alderaan.”

“So you think it would be easier for her to hate me than it would be to miss me?” Han concluded.

“I do,” Derrick said firmly. As much as Han hated to agree with Derrick, he knew the stupid commander was right. Leia wouldn’t think about him so much if she thought he was a no good smuggler. And even though he didn’t know her too much, he cared about her, and couldn’t deny the spark of attraction he felt for her. He was worried he’d hurt her way more if he showed he cared than if he pretended he never did.

“I guess I’ll be going then.”

“Goodbye, Captain.” Han heard Derrick knock on Leia’s door, and as he turned the corner, heard Leia’s delighted greeting as the two of them said hello. He buried his regret deep down.

_ It’s for the best. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (EDIT): Hey guys! Part Two of Life Goes On (A Han/Leia Story) is posted NOW! It's called Out of the Smoke. (I'm really wondering if anybody is beginning to catch on to the reference of the titles, but anyways.) I'm excited for you guys to begin reading it. The story is about to intensify, so strap in and get ready!

**Author's Note:**

> You are loved, you are important, and you are wonderfully special.


End file.
